“Would you like another child, Argh Polly would make a lovely big Sister, Did you only want the one child, Must be time for another?” If I had a pound for every time I got asked this I’d definitely have a Bentley on the drive. Luckily these questions aren’t asked from our closest family and friends because they knew of our struggle with Polly and that she was IVF etc and that she was our little miracle etc. She was our only egg that made it to Blastocyst stage, (day 5) so we never had any eggs to freeze so knowing that we always knew we would need another full cycle of IVF.
Most people know that we started trying again for another baby as Polly turned a year old. Because my egg reserve wasn’t the best and we had always been told not to leave it too long so we didn’t. By the time the 2nd IVF round got going, (Polly had just turned 1 that summer) we decided to have 2 embryos put back to give us more of a chance, so knowing we could have 3 under 2 years was a little ekes! But test day came around and we got a negative result on Halloween 2017. It was heartbreaking especially the fact the one egg can push the other egg out, but Polly got us through it.
We then had a short break over Christmas and then booked the next round for February 2018. It may sound silly to some, but you have to book in around the theatre, get your eggs growing for egg retrieval and then depending how well they develop they then go back anything from the next day to 5 days later. But to my surprise Andrew proposed on New Years day After 10 years! I had also given up on the idea of marriage so this was a complete shock and he involved Polly and it was just perfect but with IVF booked I felt I needed to get plans in motion for the wedding.
We found the perfect location but the options were April or September so we went with our gut picked April in the hope that we would just be pregnant by a couple months at the wedding, but not enough to notice a bump in a dress etc. So with that it was booked. Now back to our 3rd IVF. This time we upped the drugs in the hope for better quality eggs, more of them and even maybe one or two to freeze as we have never had any left over so we have always needed to go through the whole process each time, which I now realise where the saying “IVF Warrior” comes from, especially being both sides of the coin with it working and not working etc.
We only had one embryo that was strong enough to go back this time so of course that felt like one in a million chance really. Again unfortunately it wasn’t meant to be. We were both sooooo upset and I remember thinking how it was all my fault that my body had let us down again and not been able to keep our little embabies safe and that an all the money we put down for it was basically wasted. We were heartbroken….
But I always feel our engagement/wedding came at the right time as planning and sorting a Wedding in 4 months definetly kept me busy. What with our engagement shoot, days out with miss Polly, even snow days, making things for the wedding, wedding fairs and of course a lovely hen do all kept me going. Although it is such a massive thing to go through as a couple I did find it hard on me and my body. All the drugs, the injections, the bruising from the injections, the bloating from all the extra hormones so our wedding was such a good happy day to be focusing on it really was my therapy.
To me our wedding was perfect (only thing I wish is that my Dad was well enough to be there and walk me down the aisle) Polly was good as gold and we managed to capture so many lovely pictures of the 3 of us together which I’ll treasure forever. I finally felt complete! I was married to my best friend of over a decade and he had given me the best gift of being a mother to our gorgeous Polly.
So after the wedding had been and gone the questions slowly got asked if we would like another child and I guess by then I kind of had come to terms with all we had been through and felt OK telling people what we had gone through etc and that it probably wouldn’t happen for us.
Just around the time of our Wedding we saw my specialist consultant at hospital who is the lady who told me about my condition as to why I can’t have children naturally. Basically a dodgy pituitary gland in my brain that doesn’t send the correct signals down there for my body to ovulate etc. I always knew I had something wrong at least 7 years previous but never got diagnosed with a title until now (year of our wedding 2018). She basically told me that I should be entitled to another fertility treatment on the NHS due to this condition, regardless of already being successful with Polly. So we went back to our Dr who kindly agreed and referred us back to our fertility clinic, this time under the NHS.
Keeping this part as short as I can do, we were offered x3 rounds of a treatment called Ovulation Induction, which means still having injections to grow the eggs but timed intercourse at ovulation. So not as intrusive as IVF. We had a big discussion with the Dr who said it might be best to check my tubes were fine and not blocked, because they needed to be not damaged for this treatment to work but as I have had this done in the past they said they would let me try one round first and if it didn’t work I’d have the procedure at hospital to check they were OK.
We had alot of weddings to attend that summer so was hard to take my injections with me and do them sneakily in the toilet etc but you do what you gotta do!
Unlike IVF they don’t like you to have too many follicles to grow because of the risks of multiples etc and in IVF they determine how many embryos get put back but with this treatment its out of their hands etc. So this first round I didn’t even get to trigger because I had too many follicles! Typical right?! So by the time paper work got sent off to the hospital and we were on the waiting list, I finally had an appointment come through for that November (2018). I then had a hysteroscopy where they knocked me out to check that my womb and tubes were all OK and not damaged etc. Thank the lord all was good as this was the first time I’d ever been knocked out in my life so I was definetly nervous about it but just glad to wake up and hear good news.
We then finally got back into the clinic January 2019 to begin our x3 rounds again because I didn’t get to trigger last time they didn’t count it as a go which I’m pleased about as takes a while each round to get the doses just right. I cant remember exactly when we started injections again but I was injecting around my 30th birthday in April and even had to take the medications to Paris for our family holiday to Disneyland.
But unfortunately the 1st round didn’t work. We then tried again over the summer and again wasn’t successful. We then had the 3rd and final round scheduled for the autumn of 2019. We had discussed we would probably try IVF if this 3rd round didn’t work as my eggs were reacting so well to the certain drugs I was on etc, so I guess that helped me relax knowing this wouldn’t be the last time of trying. I guess only you know if your ready to throw in the towel or to keep on going and as I’m a rather stubborn person I wasn’t ready to give in just yet.
But finally (after 2 IVFs and 3 rounds of Ovulation Induction) on Friday 8th November 2019 we got the result we were waiting for PREGNANT!!!!
Because this was was our 3rd and final round of Ovulation Induction we had discussed we would give IVF one last try if this wasn’t successful using the same drugs, so I guess knowing that in the back of my mind this was the most relaxed I had been in the 2 week wait. I honestly had carried on as normal during this time. I lifted Polly, nothing too much heavier than her though, cleaned as normal, took her swimming as normal, we even laid tiles in our office and I was on my hands and knees grouting them Thursday before we tested.
When Friday morning came round I tested the first wee of the day and when it started to change quickly and show the plus I almost fell off the toilet because after so many negatives, I had honestly given up hope that this would ever work for us again but it did! It was only a cheap test so I then got a clear blue one which said in big letters PREGNANT 1-2 weeks which was honestly the best feeling ever seeing it in writing meant it really was true. But by the afternoon I had started spotting. It certainly wasn’t a normal period for me, not as heavy and more brown etc but it was there and meant I had to wear a pad to be safe and keep and eye on the amount. The clinic finally called me back and said just relax and still keep taking my hormones to help support the pregnancy and call again Monday with the intention to retest next Friday but to let them know how I’d been over the weekend. I said due the fact I’m spotting/bleeding should I retest Monday too, she said it wouldn’t hurt to do so. So I tested Saturday and Sunday morning both positive and I even felt sick Saturday too which to me was a good sign as had terrible pregnancy sickness with Polly from early on too but I still kept spotting which I half knew could be normal after googling the hell out of Google but it didn’t stop the worry, why is this happening to us. All I wanted is for this little one to be nesting in here safely. Then came the Monday….
Still Pregnant! Phew. The clinic then booked our dating scan for the 28th of November but in the mean time I kept retesting and each week the test changed. 2-3 weeks then 3+ weeks. The morning of the scan I was obviously nervous but so relieved when we got to see our little pea and see its heart beating away at 7 weeks! It was amazing!
We went out that night for dinner with my Mum to celebrate that even after the initial bleeding I had at the beginning all was well with our little baby and we were actually pregnant! That night out for tea I took Polly to the toilet and went to the loo myself to realise I was bleeding and I mean alot! We had never left a place so quick in our lives as obviously thought the worse was happening! After speaking to 111 and a lovely midwife we got an appointment at hospital at the early pregnancy unit the next day as they don’t scan out of hours etc. Andrew drove me and I cried most the way there as I knew how much blood I was loosing and that after getting to see our little dream only 48 hours earlier I felt like it was all coming to an end. Thank goodness they scanned my tummy and all was well! Baby was fine, nice strong heartbeat. They said that because my dating scan was internal it could have prodded and poked about into me and caused the bleeding but luckily it didn’t look like it was affecting baby at all. They booked us in for another scan in another 2 weeks time just to keep an eye on baby and the bleeding.
We went back on the 16th December which was good because I had bled again the week previous, so at least on that scan I was 9 weeks and they could see baby was growing nicely but they could also see an area of blood next to the baby so they said hopefully it will come away or my body will absorb it away. I had some spotting over Christmas as well as sickness coming in heavy and fast but I slowly began to relax and realise I’m actually pregnant and that the following year was going to be a game changer for us.
We had our scan booked at hospital for the beginning of January 2020 and seeing how much baby had grown in only a few weeks was amazing. Something a bit special about that 12 week scan as they literally look like a little baby, all formed and wriggling around in there etc. It was just so lovely to see and know all was still OK. I still had that area of bleeding and was told I will probably be in the category of 25% of woman who bleed during pregnancy, which actually sounds like a big number doesn’t it but I was never aware it was even a thing!
We had also been speaking to our lovely wedding photographer Gina Manning who we had booked for a reveal shoot the following day so that’s how we announced to our friends and family…
Of course we wanted Polly to be involved and she loved running around the beach that day showing off her new Big Sister top.
So there you have it. Two and half years in the making but our dream of growing our family is actually happening and our newest little bubs is growing away nicely. I’m just glad I noted some things down on this blog as I hope it will be something Polly and Baby Pea will be able to look back over when they are older. I’m also so so thankful for the magic of science as two different types of fertility treatment have made us pregnant and I’m amazed and proud they have worked for us. Our fertility clinic were amazing and we had such a good experience with them over the last 4.5 years too which I think really helps when you spending alot of £££ and putting your trust into them you need to feel comfortable there and we always did.
Anyway I hope to update this blog with how everything is going for us again soon but if there is anything you would like to know then please feel free to leave me a message. Hope you enjoyed this read.